Pause...
Antarctica has come and gone. I've found the next sign and am getting ready to start another leg of my journey. Yet I haven't written about it. What gives?
Honest response - I was thinking about shutting down my blog for a while because of some stuff that happened. But things are unfolding in unbelievable ways and I want to share some of it with you and skip the details of that trip. I plan on writing it one day. I've already started it. But it makes me sad and it's not weight I want to carry right now especially while I'm in a good place.
For now, know that I'm fine. I found what I needed to on the trip. For anyone that's viewed the pictures, you got a glimpse into the magic of the environment, but they don't tell the whole story. There was a battle with ego, some depressing moments both during and after the trip, but an ending like none I ever expected. Two clues into the next leg of my journey.. One was a book that kept coming up that I just finished reading. And the other... a girl. A secret affair on board with a member of the staff. A type of person that I never would have picked out for myself, but she is somehow part of the story.. In what capacity is still to be determined.
I came back to ushuaia to meet her tomorrow and begin hiking through patagonia over the next month or so. At least that's the plan. Lots can go wrong, but lots can go right too. For now we're taking it day by day and I'm excited to see what she teaches me about myself. Good or bad.
Since returning from antarctica I took 10 days to reflect and process. I had to do it in more northern parts of Argentina so that the sun could offer its assistance. It was difficult but I found many lessons.
I gave the rest of my vegas winnings away. It might be surprising, but I didn't like the way I was acting with money and I needed to rediscover humility and a more humble way of being. When you do good things, the universe provides. And while I was away someone close to me found their way into an unbelievably selfless act. I believe it was purpose calling and I wanted to pay the support forward. This person is probably reading this and I want them to know that after that moment, I was able to find my own balance again - all in a way that I have not felt since before leaving on this journey. I have you to thank for that.
I've regained control of my mind and it's changing the way I am living my life here on the road. I am listening to the universe and it is delivering powerful messages. I am being drawn toward my life purpose and I can feel it with every step in the right direction. Buddhism keeps coming up and I am starting to listen to that. I have already done some drastic things in an attempt to understand the culture. Things like no longer eating red meat. That's something I never thought I would do, but there's a reason for all of it and it feels right for now. I am also attempting to wake up with the sun, focus on constant positivity, and meditate daily. It feels foreign yet natural. Hippy yet religious. Peaceful. I'm finding the silent space to be the most telling and challenging..
I'm curious to test this new found balance out with the energy of another around me. To see if I can remain positive and communicate the way that I need to and see the person beside me as opposed to a shaded in void that I've been trying to fill. It will be a challenge looking past myself, but even if I fail it will help me get it right one day.
I have said goodbye to the white wolf. In person. In Ushuaia. Like really. Well, it was a white husky but they're so closely related it felt real... I am sitting with him now as he gives me the courage to write and believe I am no longer meant to walk this journey alone. This is the next leg and one that starts tomorrow. The part in which I search out my companions and teachers and follow my calling to the place that's whispering the loudest. Where the next sign has pointed to. The Himalayas...
I just started researching entry points and India might be the place to start. I plan to head there as soon as I'm done with patagonia. Probably around late February. This is the loose plan, and obviously can change at any given moment. But I feel strongly about it being the right next step. As I begin this journey into the spiritual realm, I intend to limit my distractions. I haven't come up with a plan for all the social media, but the upkeep so far has been tiring. I still welcome personal emails and messages. Especially ones that can help me find my way. Outside of that I can't even promise how much I will write and share publicly.
But I believe the readers and followers that matter will reveal themselves. The ones that see themselves in these shoes and can apply the same lessons in their own lives. I will share as much as I possibly can with you. For I realize now this is much bigger than me. It's about all of us.
Until the next post... (which could be tomorrow or could be a month from now..) Do you feel that? That tingling? Well I finally can again. It's Life. It's pumping through our veins. And it's magic!